It's Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, the month of great weather!!! It is so good to be outside, I traded my gym membership for a bicycle because, I am about that life!!! lolol I love the great outdoors and I intend to enjoy every minute of it.
May not only brings mayflowers, it is celebrated as Child's Month, so as a tribute to all my teenage viewers, I am pouring out my two cents on the "The Lessons of my youth". Ever so often I am pleasantly surprised by an inbox message from my teenage viewers. In recent times, I got a beautiful email about my blog, what inspired it and how inspirational and uplifting it was. This young lady asked me if I was always this outspoken and confident, I thought long and hard about answering her because I knew that I had an influence on her and my response would help to shape her mind so I wrote her a letter.
"Dear Sh.......,
When I was child in my district, I always thought life could not go by fast enough, I wanted to be grown and I wanted to be a woman. I never really stopped then to think about my childhood experiences. Now that I am grown, I often wish I was a child again, I relish in the days of my youth and I find comfort in them, I am able to laugh at the younger version of myself, I am able to treasure my upbringing and understand that it was fundamental in shaping the woman I am today.
I was not always this confident, in fact, I always lacked confidence growing up, but I have come to understand that confidence for me is a work in progress. Some days I am indestructible other days I am fallible and fragile, it is a part of growing and learning about yourself. But I can tell you this, my long lasting peace I have now established with myself did not come from my physical appearance, it came from knowing that while I am beautiful I am not my body, I am smart, outgoing, funny, silly, driven and determined. So, I hope you too will work on being confident in your abilities, your strength, your uniqueness and your body will come in time.
I was not always this confident, in fact, I always lacked confidence growing up, but I have come to understand that confidence for me is a work in progress. Some days I am indestructible other days I am fallible and fragile, it is a part of growing and learning about yourself. But I can tell you this, my long lasting peace I have now established with myself did not come from my physical appearance, it came from knowing that while I am beautiful I am not my body, I am smart, outgoing, funny, silly, driven and determined. So, I hope you too will work on being confident in your abilities, your strength, your uniqueness and your body will come in time.
That being said, I am writing you as I would to my 15 year old self hoping that my age will bring you wisdom, my insecurities will bring you confidence, my words will bring you comfort.
Lesson 1: GIVERS AND TAKERS
There are two types of people in this world, there are givers and there are takers, identity what you are and either treasure it or change it. I do not mean people who will take your possessions such as money or clothing etc. I mean people who will take your confidence with words that cut like a knife, people who give you praises and follow shortly with an insult, people who short live your victory and long live your misery. This is important, IDENTIFY THEM, take a good look at them and get rid of them, there are more takers than givers in this world and you will encounter plenty, you do not need to treasure these ones who disguise themselves under the word "friend".
Lesson 2: FRIEND MATES
Often times I hear people say they found there soulmate, well, I give you "friend mate" my word its a little goofy but it's mine, don't judge me..lolol. My dear, life will lead you on paths that will have you meeting many people, learn to identify your acquaintances from your friends. There are some people who are usually givers and even if they are not they can openly give to you, they are there when you need them, they encourage you when you need it, they call when it's not your birthday, they go above and beyond for your well being, look closely you found a friend mate. They are few so make sure you know that friendship is not about numbers it's about loyalty. It is about a friend that dreamt your dream when you were kids, saw the beauty of your imagination, always spoke good things over your life and declared only good things for you. And don't worry if you don't find them now, I found some of my friend mates in high school and university and even in the workplace. The point is, if you are going to blossom into a beautiful, strong, independent woman, you must first begin by surrounding yourself with people who will see that potential in you, nurture it, encourage it and MOST importantly believe it.
Lesson 3: LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST
I heard you say you are not one of the "popular" kids in school, the game of life is not a popularity contest and it is not in a school yard. When I was in school, I was not a popular girl, I was the girl that worried about what people thought of me and because of that I did many things to be "seen" a particular way by my peers. Your innocence is your asset, you do not need to be popular, the beauty of your teenage years are priceless, you have the luxury of living in a home where, your meals are prepared, you have clothing and shelter and you have the option of getting an education, focus on these things. Remember I told you, that this is probably the only time in your life you will be free, free to live a worry free life, free to be a child, you do not have to grow up early, being a grown up is going to always be there, be a teenager and enjoy that.
Lesson 4: DEFINING TRAITS
You have a temple in which your spirit dwells, your body, it is a gift and you should treasure it. I know now you seem to be going through an "awkward" phase, it might be pimples or boobs etc. Do not let this be your defining characteristic, all these are changeable and variable. As a woman, your main characteristic should be able to stand the test of time, men, relationships, defeat and all of life's lessons, so your "IMAGE" will come in it's own time, WORK on your confidence, your education, your values because those will always be what sets you apart from the rest of the world. A good man never marry a woman because she is beautiful, he marries what is underneath it all, and once those fundamentals are there, you will never worry about boys or men, they will love you.
I hope this helps in your days at school when you are not sitting with the popular girls, I want to say Happy Child's Month to you, remember you have your whole life to be grown but only several years to be a child, embrace it, remember that your life is a blank canvass, you have the paint brush in your hand soooo GOOOO make your masterpiece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Debra
Great advice!!
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