CHOOSING THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE

Hello Everyone,
                  I have decided to break my silence about my decision to isolate myself for several months. I must first say that in life, you take on a journey with the greatest expectations and the best thoughts, you never want to believe or think that any misfortune or bad might happen. I took a journey with love and decided to walk the blissful life of companionship. To date it has been the most fulfilling experience I have ever experienced. I was honoured to find that oneness and bond you share when you meet and connect with a life partner.

During this period, I was most happy and content. I have come to understand now that in life not every journey that you believe should last forever was meant to. It is very liberating to take your life into your own hands, but liberation can also mean accepting what is. I opened my heart to all life and love had to offer but this for me was a journey and I wanted it to be my destination. It is hard to come to terms with letting go of something you so desperately love and that is so familiar, to now venture into the unknown. We decided after agonizing over a decision, to separately venture into the unknown. It was a terrifying, heart wrenching decision and the hardest decision I have had to make to date.

I felt very angry, hurt, ashamed and embarassed. I remember only wanting to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to make sense of what seems to be the shambles my life became. I needed the support of  my family and close friends. I remember my dad told me while I was in isolation that in life never choose the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance seems easy and effortless but it comes with the least rewards and gratification. I began to redefine my life, to navigate the difference between what I am expected to be and who I am. I questioned myself I asked who am I? Who do I want to be? Will I be a woman who settle just to be in a familiar place or uproot the familiar and venture into the unknown?

For anyone who has ever been in that place, words are not enough to describe the fear that devours your mind. I decided that I am not a victim, that I have experienced what most people live their lives hoping for, many people have gone through worst and survived and this too shall pass. I allowed myself the time to grieve and I admit to myself that I was not wrong or right, I was me. I am human and like everybody else, I am trying to find my way in this world.

I believe my biggest lesson from this experience is learning to let life happen, experiencing true love and loss and learning to venture into the unknown. I hope for all the wonderful ladies and gents out there who have a decision to make, a path to choose, never choose the path of least resistance, open your eyes and venture into the unknown, you might surprise yourself. You are powerful beyond your wildest dreams and remember the most important part of answering that question of who am I? is knowing that you are who you choose to be.

xoxo
Debra.