JULY'S GIRL ON FIRE : MS. MARY JANE PAUL (BET'S BEING MARY JANE)

 
“The way in which we think of ourselves has everything to do with how our world see us and how we see ourselves successfully acknowledged by the world.” - Arlene Rankin

“Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses.” - Madame Marie du Deffand

“Woman must not accept; she must challenge.She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.” - Margaret Sanger
 
Hey Guys,      

After a week, I finally saw "Being Mary Jane" on BET. I saw my twitter page explode and heard all the great reviews but I wanted to make sure I watched it and got my own take on this new series. Interestingly, before I watched the pilot, I got a lot of perspective on the show  from my girlfriends and they all said  the same thing "I feel like I was watching a mirror of my life."

 

After seeing the statistics on the screen and watching 61 minutes uninterrupted I decided this series deserves a platform. The topic of the single black woman has been an ongoing debate for decades. I am glad that BET decided to bring such a BOLD and FIERCE series to their station it is a much needed change.

 

Often times people email me to ask, why blog exclusively about women's issues and to them I always say I want to blog about real issues, pressing topics that will make a difference in women's lives. I want to be the voice of my peers in the most positive way possible, and now that I have a forum and an audience I want to influence a generation and that is what "Being Mary Jane" does for me.

 

For those of you who have not seen the pilot, the story is based on a career driven, beautiful, educated and successful black woman who is financially responsible for her extended family. This woman while very successful in her career and every aspect of her professional life has a hard time finding the same success in her personal life as she is struggling to find her way in her relationships with men.

 

The pilot though only one episode is very endearing, very well written and tells a story very common to many women. It raises a myriad of issues spanning from  race, gender, colour of skin, teenage pregnancy, a women's strength, personal struggles, professional victorious, the “good girl” ideologies and a woman’s constant quest for love.

 

I applaud BET for being courageous to tackle the growing issue of successful women that often times are found wondering, settling and compensating for that which we feel we lack. I dubbed Ms Mary Jane Paul this July's girl on fire simply because I felt like it spoke right to my heart.

 

I often look at my life and wonder how is it I can be so driven, together, focused and successful in every aspect except my relationships. I felt like that part of me was my kryptonite, I may have a million victorious on any given day but I still felt empty and found myself wanting, wondering when will I have my happy ending and why do I feel empty without it? Am I placing too much value on it and less on myself?

 

Truth is we women are great at pulling it together, smiling through the pain, crying behind closed doors and holding it in. "I know I don't need a man to complete me but I feel like I am failing in that aspect of my life." I often say to myself and my friends often say to me. We always feel we have to be so strong, so together, so "perfect" but inside we are lonely, vulnerable and yearning for that something more.  

 

 

Why do you think we often pause and look at “young black love” or even just “black love” it seems like such a rarity but it still gives you that feeling that maybe soon it will happen to me. As a young and thriving career woman myself I often wonder if I have done everything right why am I still searching, waiting, hoping why has this not happened to me?

 

It is a very invigorating debate going on today about the career woman’s personal struggle and the challenges of being single in a world where companionship and marriage seems to be the order of the day and happy endings are being sold to us through every possible media outlet since the age of innocence.

 

Being Mary Jane is a one for the single ladies, the career woman, the devoted Christian, it is a step in the right direction for Black Entertainment Television (BET). It is a celebration of the empowering all mighty black woman (hear me roar) but it is meaningful and controversial and it brings an amazing angle on a single woman’s struggle. It raises the all too familiar questions of what is right and wrong, while continuously emphasizing that answering those two questions are not always as simple as black and white.

 

 

I celebrate the Mary Janes out there today, I am Mary Jane flaws and all, I am a small part of a big universe but because there is only one of me, I am special.

I hope you draw strength from this lovely character and celebrate yourself my Mary Janes, we should love what is right with our lives, focus less on what is wrong, you are AMAZING!!!!!!

 

Keep your Heels, head and standards HIGH BABY!!!!!!!

 

P.S. Let me know how you liked "Being Mary Jane" are you a Mary Jane? How do you deal with the pressure?

 

xoxo

Debra